How to Deal With a Fake Co-worker at the Office - The Muse

How to Deal With a Fake Co-worker at the Office - The MuseHow to Deal With a Fake Co-worker at the Office When it comes to your colleagues, you know that- while there are plenty of great ones youll encounter throughout your working life- there are also plenty of annoying ones who will serve to make your time in the amtsstube that much tougher.One of the worst (aside from the person whose lunch diet seems to consist of only tuna fish and hardboiled eggs)? The fake co-worker.You know the type, right? He says one thing to your face, and then something totally different behind your back.Its frustrating- theres no denying that. And, even further, it will often leave you wondering exactly how to deal. Should you paste on a smile, pretend nothing is happening, and be just as phony as him? Should you confront him head on? Should you go to your boss?Well, as always, a lot can depend on your individual situation. But, regardless of your specific circumstances, these five tips should help to gu ide you in the right direction.1. Confirm Your SuspicionsBefore you run off the rails and confront that person with smoke coming out of your ears, its important to check your sources first.Do you know for a fact that your co-worker is being malicious and two-faced- meaning that you witnessed it yourself? Or, is this something you heard through the grapevine?You already know that office gossip can spiral out of control in a hurry. So, rather than acting on assumptions and jumping to conclusions, make sure that you have your facts straight. That simple act alone will save you a lot of headaches and plenty of unnecessary drama. 2. Get Some SpaceAlright, so you know for certain that this colleague of yours is fake. Despite her smile and friendly demeanor, shell throw you under the bus the second you turn around. What now?Its important to create a little bit of distance between the two of you. Since youve confirmed that this person is indeed insincere, engaging in office chatter by the v ending machines wont do you any favors.Instead, make your best effort to have some space. You dont need to be blatantly rude or cold. But, avoiding being totally buddy-buddy and limiting face-time will ultimately give her less ammunition to use against you. 3. Keep RecordsThe last thing you want to do when youre dealing with a fake co-worker is find yourself smack dab in the middle of an awful game of he said, she said.So- call it paranoid- but its important for you to keep accurate records of anything negative, misleading, or mean-spirited that occurs. Whether you end up approaching the person directly or having a discussion with your superior, that supporting documentation will come in handy when you need to add more legitimacy to your complaints.Try to correspond with that colleague using email as much as possible- thats a surefire way to confirm that you have important things in writing. If something happens during a spoken conversation? Jot down the date, time, and a descriptio n of what occurred.Yes, I know it can seem like a bit of overkill. But, when you feel like youre dealing with someone whos out to make your life that much harder, you really cant be too careful. 4. Have the Tough ConversationYou could likely deal with the occasional backhanded comment. But, if your issue with this employee seems to be ongoing, its time to have an honest conversation.Your best bet is to start directly with the person whos causing the problem. Request to schedule a sit-down with him or her where you both can have some private and quiet space to talk- you dont need this to turn into a recess-fist-fight scenario. Instead, just bring up the behavior thats been bothering you.Perhaps shell be so taken aback by your direct confrontation that shell apologize immediately and you both can move on from there. More likely than that, though? Shell deny it profusely. Thats frustrating, but you can take comfort in the fact that youve made your point and proved that you wont just ro ll over and be treated poorly.What if things dont improve after your frank discussion? Then it might be time to bring your concerns and documentation to a superior. Nobody wants to be a tattle-tale, but you also dont deserve to have to keep tip-toeing around this person. 5. Avoid the Revenge TrapWhether things improve or not, it can be more than tempting to want to get your revenge. Its only fair that he gets a taste of his own medicine, right?Wrong. As alluring as that siren popsong of sweet retaliation can be, its important that you always put your best foot forward in the office- rather than taking the knife out of your own back only to use it on someone else. Your co-workers might not always be moral and ethical, but you dont need to subscribe to that same philosophy. Needing to cope with a fake co-worker is never fun. But, unfortunately, its likely one of those things youre going to need to do every now and then. As long as youre able to keep your distance, cover your own bases , have an honest conversation, and- of course- rise above, youll be much more likely to handle that sticky situation with professionalism and politeness.